THIS IS AMANDA Chantal Bacon.

Bacon, based in Venice, California, owns a juice and nut milk shop called Moon Juice that counts people like Gwyneth Paltrow and Shailene Woodley among its fans.

And she’s the talk of Twitter today after a frankly bonkers food diary she wrote for Elle in May 2015 suddenly went viral all over again.

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So, what does she eat? Glad you asked.

Bacon explains that she starts her day with “some Kundalini meditation and a 23-minute breath set — along with a copper cup of silver needle and calendula tea”.

Silver needle and calendula tea? Surely that’s a mystic magic potion used to make boys fall in love with you when you’re 14, no?

Once 8am arrives, that’s when she really indulges.

At 8am, I had a warm, morning chi drink on my way to the school drop off, drunk in the car! It contains more than 25 grams of plant protein, thanks to vanilla mushroom protein and stone ground almond butter, and also has the super endocrine, brain, immunity, and libido- boosting powers of Brain Dust, cordyceps, reishi, maca, and Shilajit resin. I throw ho shou wuand pearl in as part of my beauty regime. I chase it with three quinton shots for mineralization and two lipospheric vitamin B-complex packets for energy.

Brain Dust. Vanilla mushroom protein. Corydceps. Lipospheric vitamin B-complex packets.

Whatever happened to a cup of tea?

As for what her idea of a fun snack is?

Bee pollen and activated cashews.

I also take three tablespoons of bee pollen. I love Moon Juice’s soft and chewy bee pollen—it’s a creamy, candy-like treat that gives me my daily B-vitamin blast, and also helps feed my skin and aids hormone production. I’ll also grab a handful of activated cashews. I try to get these in every day for their brain chemistry magic

Ah yes, brain chemistry magic.

Do they also heal your inner unicorn spirit?

Over the course of the article, she also casually mentions how she ferments her own coconut yoghurt (of course) and likes to snack on a “delicate broth of mushrooms and herbs” before doing a two-hour yoga class.

Finally, it ends on this note.

At 11pm, I had a nightcap of heart tonic and raw chocolate made from one of my big batches—this one was made with our Moon Pantry heirloom raw cacao, reishi and Chaga mushroom, sprouted brown rice protein, and coconut oil.

Ugh.

Giphy Giphy

Needless to say, not everyone was sold on her Raw Magic Dust Diet.

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Since then, people have unearthed more glorious articles about the juice shop’s owner dietary habits.

Some more choice quotes.

I really indulge in the alchemist vibe in the morning, which is usually a warm drink based in sprouted almond butter and water that makes the perfect almond milk, or I’ll do hemp hearts and water.

One thing that is an internal/external beauty thing all in one jar is pearl. It’s part of fortifying my body in the practice of eating mostly plants because the amino acid profile in that pearl in incredible for the body.

I rarely eat meals anymore so it’s a nonstop flow of Moon Juices, cordyceps, reishi, maca, figs, raw chocolate — it’s a nonstop party!

Sounds… thrilling.

For those of you who are interested in replicating her diet, Moon Juice helpfully sells an assortment of tonics and dusts on their website.

Like Sex Dust (“A lusty adaptogen to ignite, excite, and cultivate the sexual flow in both men and women”) and Spirit Dust (“This divine energy formula feeds the thriving physical body and unites the heart and spirit with sacred herbs”).

Moon Juice Moon Juice

And you thought you were doing enough by eating a few avocados, wha’?

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